I went to Reilly's viewing yesterday, it was rough. It was all boys but me and Kelly. I hate seeing boys cry, it makes me more upset. It didn't get really sad until we actually seen her. She didn't even look like her. Everyone started crying right away, including myself. I didn't think I would cry. Maybe I was so upset because she was so young. Either way it was hard.
The last few days have been flying by. I hardly remember everything I did because I had plans back to back all day. Tonight Nechelle got a hotel room for her friend from Sarnia visiting so a few of us went. It was fun but I didn't drink because I need to save myself for New Years tomorrow. Nechelle and Nick got pretty drunk. Nick wanted me to mention how much of a champ he is for drinking a 26er of Jager and 4 pints of beer, he rules. Well tomorrow is New Years like I mentioned and i'm really not excited for it like I should be. I have no set plans and it annoys me so much. I don't want any drama shit going on and I don't want to see certain people. We'll see how this works out though. I'm supposed to be pre-drinking and such with Kara, Robyn and Aly but I'm Not 100% on anything right now. I want to see Jon for midnight kiss but I know it won't happen because we are both doing different things. As much as he tells me he trusts me about tomorrow, I know he doesn't. It makes me upset because trust is a big issue for me and I hate feeling like i'm doing something wrong when i'm not. I just want to have a good time tomorrow because I haven't had a good new years in 3 years.
I'm getting really frustrated having to be home every night for my dog because i'm not used to it at all. It makes me more and more mad everyday that they are gone and I wasn't even considered to be invited. It sucks even more being on watch by my neighbors, I personally think they have no right to say anything to me yet they still do.
Sorry for the depressing rambling.
Goooooodnight.
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