welcome to the good life.

I feel like it's been forever since I've been here. Of course my internet broke and I had to wait almost 3 weeks for it to return. Lately everything has been really fun and funny and full of love. Everyday is a new adventure and I always feel so happy. I am trying to get everything figured out in my financial life as usual. I have two jobs now and will be working 15 hour days for about two weeks give or take. After all that mess I'll be working about 88 hours in a pay period at my new job and just 2-3 days at good ol' Sev Lev. I cannot wait to have tons of money so I can get me some new wheels! I am also stoked on my new tatt! My 3/4 sleeve is coming along amazing and everyone loves it! I'll have to wait awhile for more to be added but I don't mind at all. Gahhh I just love everything! : )

sometimes you get the best of me.

So, it's been awhile. A few things have happened but never the less, life is the same. Back to work again tomorrow for two more days, then I get 3 much needed days off. I am starting to feel a lot better with everything going on. I feel a lot more open and accepting and less of a 'bitch' I guess to say the least. I really do feel the difference of everything with my change and it actually is awesome. I do feel a little shitty about money situations right now. I do have enough for like the regular stuff and extra actually but i'm really trying to focus on a new car and it's not very easy. My mom wants me to pay her to live here which I cannot afford. I don't think it's fair at all since i'm never here, there is never food and I don't even have a bedroom. I get really mad being at 'home' I guess. I am really looking forward to this weekend though. I am spending all of it with my boy and all the friends. We'll probably do a lot of fun stuff and stay out forever since we usually do. Monday we have planned to go to Toronto. I'm not sure with who yet but it really doesn't matter to me. In a way I wish summer could last forever so I could just make tons of money and see everyone all the time but it's pretty much over and I hate it. I'm really sad that hardly anything was accomplished on my Summer List. I guess I should have actually put stuff I knew was going to happen. I'm going to post it so you can see the disappointment...

Ps. I improvised a lot for obvious reasons.

1. Go to the beach everyday for a week

2. Sunday Fundays as many Sunday's as possible

3. Get dark! X

4. Road trip to Québec .. Went to Pelee Island instead X

5. Play Frisbee X

6. Make a Summer playlist

7. Have bonfires X

8. Go camping

9. Skip rocks X

10. Fly a kite X

11. Go to Mitch's house in Stratford .. He came here instead! X

12. Drive Nick's jeep to the beach

13. Go to Avondale Dairy Bars X

14. Build a sandcastle

15. Have a 'beach day' X

16. Go to the Gorge and watch the sunset .. Not gorge but I did it X

17. Go to the Gorge and watch the sunrise .. Same as above X

18. Re-attempt Nick and Jon's birthday party

19. Fund raise to get me a new tattoo .. 3 months no drinking X

20. Walk everywhere X

21. Go on the Maid of the Mist (Jon's never been) X

22. Fall asleep outside

23. Build a tire swing

24. Go skinny dipping

25. Have a Toronto day trip X

26. Go to Warp Tour .. Scene Fest instead X

27. Have a lazy day X

28. Make smores X

29. Read a book

30. Go to Canal Days for the fire works X

31. Video tape a whole day

32. Draw a giant picture with all our friends X

33. Try to convince Jon's parents to get a Doberman puppy

34. Go fishing

35. Play beach volleyball

36. Eat corn on the cob for a week

37. Invent something

38. Jump on a trampoline

39. Go floating on Chippawa Creek X

40. Drink all day (Kool Aid for Jon)

41. Ride bikes

42. Go to some of Jon's ball hockey games X

43. Hit up the drive in X

44. Buy Jean a Birthday cake! X

45. Swim in the Ocean

46. Go to a farm

47. Go to the Circus

48. Movie Marathon

49. A whole day without cell phones X

50. Fall in Love. X

abandoned and forgotten.

I hate everything and everyone right now. Fuck off.

try and rewind.

You are lame. Think before you type! ; )

the little things.

I am so confused. I hate being confused. Everything seems harder and I guess I just can't find the right words to explain anything right now. I want things differently but the same too. I want to be happier and smile about everything. I want less arguments and more hugs. I want a lot but it's not always going to come so fast. I know I have to help too. I sound so selfish sometimes but i'm not, at all. There's always the other side of things, and the other side wants their own things, and their own kind of happiness. I understand, but at the same time it's easier said then done. I wish it was as easy as it sounds, but nothing comes easy when it comes to this. Things only stay one way for a certain amount of time, and you think everything is golden but of course you end up back to the same routine. I'll figure this out eventually.