take a breath, take a breath with me.

I feel you in my bones

You're knocking on my windows

Your're slow to letting me go

And I know this feeling oh-so

This feeling in my bones

win.

It is really funny setting your sister up with your best friend.

Agreed.

Ps. Alice in Wonderland 3D rules. Just sayin'.

perfection.

We are perfect. For each other, in every way. I feel like nothing could be better without him. He is my best friend, and makes my day everyday doing nothing at all. Even if I didn't see him for days, it would be okay because he always knows how to make me smile. I find everything about him cute, amazing and adorable. I wish I could kiss him and hold him all day long. I have an obsession with him but I know he feels the same about me so I think it's cute. I like how we can be a couple but also just act like friends and feel no different about each other. We joke about the stupidest things and I like being able to be myself. I seriously think this is better then perfect, I never want it to change. <3

could it get worse?

Yesterday I had THE worst day possible. Let me tell you what went wrong, in this order;

1. Me and Emily went for lunch and everything was cold and service was horrible.

2. When I paid for gas at the pump with my Visa the other day, it automatically charges you for $100 dollars so I had no money.

3. Emily had to pay for my lunch, I felt really bad.

4. We stopped at the Pen and when I got there I realized my tire was flat.

5. We took the bus to Brock so I could go to class with Emily until 9pm when Jon could pick me up.

6. We waited for CAA to come change my tire, which is the smallest tire in the world.

7. I almost ran out of gas, and I still have no money for the next couple days and no car until I get my tire fixed.

Fuck this, right?

new!

This is my new tattoo! Number 7! It's a shitty picture, I know. But there really isn't a better way to show it. Once it's healed it will be a lighter purple. The roman numerals stand for 8:28 which was the time I was born! : )

spin me around.

I still have a wicked cough from being sick, and it's the only thing I have left to get rid of. It seems that it gets worse every time I get to a new environment. As in, a friends house, my car, the mall and pretty much any where else. I should probably see someone about it but I really rather not. It's just a cough and it will go away soon.. I hope!

Facebook is being a piece of shit and refusing to let me upload pictures. I have attempted twice now and no success. Another thing about Facebook is that it is no longer fun to me. I barely use it for anything anymore and I always wait for people to message me. Lurking is no longer exciting!

This weekend was half decent. I had fun on our usual double dates, even though we never actually announce that they are. I just found out I have an 'X' on the side of my face, from the 'X' on my hand that I got from the show last night. I can't believe I haven't noticed all day!

I hung out with Emily tonight which was cute. We made the most amazing brownies and just cuddled up to the T.V. all night. A really nice relaxing time. Tomorrow i'm going to pick her up from school and go to the Pen because she has a 3 hour break, so i'm hoping I find something decent to wear Friday.

I'm sort of just rambling for the hell of it. My picture of my new tattoo will be up tomorrow! So stay tunned!

the look on your face could light up a room.

I have been planning to draw out my design for my foot tattoos but I haven't got around to it. Tonight I finally stayed up to do it and I think they turned out really well, almost exactly how I want them. I am now hoping that I can bring my drawings in and someone can make them perfect. I also still have to decide if I want to add any color; tough decision.

Today I got an apology message from Nick. I have been waiting for it for a week now. The only reason I waited so long to talk to him and actually kept a grudge was because he had no right to say any of the things he did to me and I wanted to prove that to him. His message made me so happy because I know he really meant it.

This weekend should be a good one! Tomorrow is Latin Night at the pub so a few of us are going there. Saturday I had a bunch of things planned but I am choosing to go to Jake's birthday party because it's his birthday and that only comes once a year, right? I feel bad because all my other plans were made before he asked but it only seems fair.

Oh, and I forgot to tell you; for the next 3 months I made a bet with Jon that I wouldn't drink. If I win, he buys me a new tattoo. I could not resist, you know my obsession! I think it will be good for me though. I don't usual do things like this and it's fun to believe in something for awhile. It might be tempting at times but I rarely drink so i'm sure I can handle that. He also said every 3 months I continue the bet, I get another tattoo. I wonder how long this will last if that's the case. When I think about that, I wonder if becoming Straight Edge would be better. Jon would certainly like that more, but I do enjoy drinking on some occasions. Like usual; I'll keep you posted.

I went to Value Village today with Beth and it turned out great. She got about 6 different things for only $20, and I got an amazing mug with the letter 'J' on it for $2. Success!

so cute.

I used to be creative and I actually drew a lot. I wish I still did. I don't have the same patience and creativeness I did when I was younger.

would it be okay, if I moved away?

I want to move away and I have so many opportunities to, but I know that leaving here would be so hard. It seems like I have everyone here I need and I don`t want to leave that behind. If I leave, when would I come back? There is just so much to think about, it is a huge decision. The main thing that is stopping me is my boy. Why would I want to leave him? He means so much to me and we would both be heart broken. I just don't know.

!!!!!

Home is when i'm with YOU.

i'm so sick of...

1. Arguing

2. People doing dumb shit

3. Girls

4. Being broke

5. Not having my own room

6. Headaches

7. The cold

8. Work

9. Trying

10. Everything going wrong

just for you.

allllllllllllllll mine

<3forever

-I love you sooooo much

last night.

Last night was different. I actually had quite a good time. I loved dancing all night for once and seeing all my friends I hadn't seen in a long time. I didn't really wear green but my spirit was still there. At the end of the night we got stranded for a couple hours, which sucked, but it made for a good adventure. We cuddled outside because it was cold and we attempted to walk home. That obviously didn't last long because we finally got a hold of a cab. $25 dollars later was definitely worth it. I made it home by 5am but I didn't mind, I would have stayed up until then anyways! I wish I was more into partying sometimes, but it never feels worth it to me. I hardly even drink anymore. I rather have a way to and from a bar, then getting wasted and something going wrong or not making it home. Drinking doesn't appeal to me, neither does the feeling of being drunk. Once I get there, I always want it gone. I am turning into an old lady sooner then I thought...

sup?

I am stoked on getting wasted and having a good time tomorrow. I haven't done that in a long time. So far i'm going to be with Jeff, Beth and possibly Randee. We will see where the night takes us.

favorite.

talk about it, talk about it.

I think I have a new outlook on girls. They have been so nice to me in the past week that I can't be so bitter about the ones I hate. I'll hate them in the back of my head and forget about it. I am a happy girl today; other then the shitty start to my morning where I was late to work because I forgot to change the clocks and only had a half hour to get ready. Then on my way I got a speeding ticket. Ftw. On another note, lets not grow up. I like everyone and everything how it is and I want to stay right here, being almost 20 and loving life. Why does everything need to keep changing. I only like change within myself. Everyone I love needs to live together and just stay awesome. Okay bye!

back the fuck up.

I hate girls who love drama and sloppy seconds x89396875.

That is all.

oh, the love I have for you.

♪♫♫♪♪♫

you regret what we've done, 'cause it had no meaning.

I don't know why I keep these thoughts in my head. They ruin hours of my life. I'm not sure if you understand, but it feels like my head could throw up from thought; like 'mind vomit'. I think about you every once in a while, but lately it's everyday. Not all day everyday, but at some point in time just something about you gets in there. I hate it, I loathe it. Either way it still never goes away. I wish I knew how to control things like this but it has to mean something from the way it sticks around, and how every thought is different. I feel hate towards you most days, some days it's just disgust, and rarely a happy time between us passes by and missing you comes into play. The question here still is why? I wish I knew. I hate actually expressing things about you when it comes to my blog, but blogging is supposed to clear my brain and that is what I am trying to do; rid you from my life. It feels wrong because you were my whole world for a long time but I can't say I know anything about you anymore. Everything about you is different. Back then you were easy and loving. Now, I wouldn't even know how to describe you. What ever you have been doing in the last two months, I do not agree with. I think you deserve so much more then this. You are a good person but not now, not lately. I wish you read this, to understand me, to know how I really feel about you, and how I am still here. I'm still the same girl you used to be in love with. The only difference is that I now love someone else. I want you to be happy for me, and I want to be friends. I have tried so hard but I get nothing at all from you, ever. I'll always miss you and care about you. You know I will. But for now, you need to be out of my head because I have other things to worry about. I'm sorry.

just a little 'post-it'.

Well, another night feeling like shit. I have no idea what is wrong with my neck and back, but I feel like a 70 year old. I should see a doctor but I really hate them, like I have said before. I'll write tomorrow because I'm going to meet some people at Flying Saucer, then go out somewhere. It's already 2am so I will be going right to bed after. Goodnight.

Sex and the City.

Woman are for friendships, men are for fucking. Hahaha, oh how I love Sex and the City! Beth, Randee and I are having a S.A.T.C. day date tomorrow! So stoked. It rules my life.

she'll walk all over you.

I love the way she looks.

talk all you want, no one is listening.

I am just annoyed and uncomfortable. I don't even know why. Fuck this Friday night. I guess doing nothing sometimes can be worth it, but was it? All I did was add and fix all the music on my Ipod. I haven't ate much all day either. I was planing on making Hamburger Helper but maybe i'll get to that as soon as i'm done this. I wanted this week to be really fun and stuff but for some reason when I look back on it, it really doesn't seem like I had the greatest time. I mean spending all that time with my boyfriend is great sometimes but now that I won't be seeing him everyday it's going to screw up my whole schedule. I feel like now he should be apart of everyday, if you know what i'm saying. I guess I get caught up in routine easy. Anyways, back to this week; I don't know if I really felt as if we got along that great. I mean, Sunday all I did was sleep and I was in a bad mood. Then almost every other day I fell asleep at some point from boredom. I don't know, maybe i'm saying this now because I am in a weird mood. Sometimes I think about things too much and exaggerate my feelings, so maybe this is one of those times? Well now it seems like I am unsure of everything. There is days when I stop and think "How did I get here? How did I end up in this position, with these people?" How bad does that sound, right? Who ever is reading this is probably thinking i'm a fucking mess, but I guess I am at this very moment. When I stop and think about those things it's like I want to change the past and end up somewhere else. Then there is other days that I know I am so happy where I am, and I wouldn't change a thing; even given the opportunity. I guess this is just that over thinking sort of day, where everything got jumbled together and sleeping it off is going to make me sane again. I seriously don't even know where this is going. I guess I'll shut up.

head spun.

I have a headache. Everyday I get one, never the same time, but it still comes. Once I get it I get really tired and just want to sleep until I think I will wake up to something exciting. Maybe I get them out of boredom because I am so used to being out doing stuff all the time. I don't take pills for anything, at all; so I guess that doesn't help either. I don't really know why I don't, but I haven't for a long time now; maybe a year at least.

money, money, money.

I need it, lots of it.